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ISIS Branches Out Into Car Dealerships; Read the Fine Print Carefully

used cars (Martin Kleppe/Flickr)

We’ve all dealt with a car salesman who wanted us in order to sign our life away on an expensive import, but there’s a good chance that’s literally happening in Iraq right now.

Reuters reports that Islamic State fighters have taken in order to running car dealerships as a means of making money, since allied airstrikes have cut off a lot of their oil-generated income.

Not sometime ago, the group claimed a good (estimated) annual salary of $2.9 billion using their seized oil fields and related gasoline-selling operations, but bombs aimed at the group’s monetary infrastructure put the kibosh on their own prosperity.

Revenues are lower by a third, and fighters that prepared to live the high life while butchering people are right now bummed over their own pay cut.

So, the actual bloodthirsty group than shuns variety has been forced to broaden the business side of their operation, taking over car dealerships and state-run factories to create some cash. ?We can only imagine what that dealer experience is like.

“You want to terminate the lease? I’ll end YOU!”

Money generated from automobile sales flows to the group’s finance ministry in the northern Iraq city of Mosul (the site of a pending allied offensive), where it’s then distributed to fighters in ISIS-controlled territory.

If the salesperson life is too demanding, ISIS has another fallback procedure:?fishing.

People need seafood, right? If you can help it to, never buy a seafood -?or a vehicle?- from ISIS. Can’t be trusted.

If you’lso are looking to get a sense of your average ISIS fighter’s product sales prowess (“Undercoating ISN’T optional! Did you hear me!?”), check out this helmet cam video of clumsy ISIS martial artists?hitting each other along with hot spent shell casings and burning up each other with RPG exhaust.

Now picture that at the Mosul Pre-Owned Emporium.

Don't be shellfish...
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